As you can see, I've always been a singer and songwriter.
My favorite thing to do is write lyrics. I also love the Boston Red Sox. These two loves have combined many times over the years...
I wrote this in 2001 when my favorite reliever, Rod Beck, left the Red Sox. When he passed away unexpectedly in 2007, it was published by Boston Dirt Dogs and many other sites. My hope is that Rod's family was able to see it!
An Ode to Rod BeckHe never quite looked
Like the other Red Sox More like one of the Phillies With his long, scraggly locks But though not as clean-cut As most cute Boston boys With his pitching he brought us Innumerable joys When they called him to finish What Pedro or Tim had begun You could always have faith Rod would get the job done And I have to admit it – my eyes grew quite teary At the thought of a Fenway with no Troy O’Leary! How sad – no mo Nomo, Chris Stynes or Bichette! John Valentin and Mike Lansing – we’ll never forget! We thank you and will miss you, Dear Rod and all the rest Whatever uniform you’re wearing, Boston fans still love you best! |
This one was also published by Boston Dirt Dogs in 2007, when the Red Sox were playing the Colorado Rockies in the World Series.
Funky Ohhh-kajima!
(to the tune of Funky Cold Medina)
The Rox came into Boston
Looking for some action But like our old friend Steinbrenner, They couldn’t get no satisfaction! Clint Hurdle told his boys, “We just won 20 of 21. Now let’s go into Fenway Park and have a little fun!” But Francis got spooked when the crowd yelled “YOOOUK!” Holliday kept screaming, “WHY?!!” And both our aces And Paps’ scary faces Made Tulowitzki cry! So Clint walked to the Boston dugout And saw this guy named Tito Clint said to the guy, “Why are you so fly?” He said, “Funky Ohhh-kajima!” Funky Ohhh-kajima! Then Tito told Clint Hurdle Some more of his tricks He said, “Make Pedroia your leadoff man And you’ll get lots of hits! Our number two’s lucky goatee Is thicker than molasses! And Papi and Manny hit it so far You have to get out your glasses! |
We’ve got Lugo and Coco Bringin’ all their love Mike Lowell with his golden bat And his Golden Glove! We’ve got slammin’ outfielders Like Ellsbury and Drew But of course you need great pitching too Like Funky Ohhh-kajima! Funky Ohhh-kajima! |
Now, Beckett’s got a curve
That could not be any meaner Then Schilling and Dice-K show up And take you to the cleaners Jon Lester is our come back kid And for Timlin, it’s old hat Del Carmen, Lopez, & Gagne Might just ruin your at bat! When we needed one more, Kyle Snyder was the answer And of course our lights out closer Who is one mean Riverdancer We’ve got Cora, Kielty, and Hinske Always ready when they get the call Our back-up catcher Dougie can even catch a knuckleball! You need great vets like Captain Tek To calm the young guys’ fears We’ve got this one guy, Wake We’ve counted on for 13 years!” Clint looked appalled! He said, “I heard we’d win it all If I ate a Fenway weinah!” Tito said, “No, no, I tell ya, Bro It’s the Funky Ohhh-kajima!” Funky Ohhh-kajima! |
And not to leave out the Pats…
Song of the Patriots
(sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies)
Now, here's a little story 'bout a man named Ted
He had himself a Bruschi, then he put himself to bed
But first he prayed, "Dear God, Please grant my one and only dream!
I wanna go play football where they have a winning team!"
Foxboro, that is...
Rotaries...
Cranberries...
Now, when Tedy met the Patriots, he knew it was a go!
He told his new friend, Adam,"You sure kick well in the snow!"
And then he met the man who'd lead them all to victory:
A hot young Californian by the name of Brady!
Tom, that is...
Nice a**...
Quarterback...
Now, the Pats began their season with a loss to Buffalo
Then they shocked the world by winning 14 in a row!
They squashed the Titans and the Colts and now they're on a roll!
New England's gonna slay the Panthers in the Superbowl!
XXXVIII, that is...
2003...
Victory!
Now, here's a little story 'bout a man named Ted
He had himself a Bruschi, then he put himself to bed
But first he prayed, "Dear God, Please grant my one and only dream!
I wanna go play football where they have a winning team!"
Foxboro, that is...
Rotaries...
Cranberries...
Now, when Tedy met the Patriots, he knew it was a go!
He told his new friend, Adam,"You sure kick well in the snow!"
And then he met the man who'd lead them all to victory:
A hot young Californian by the name of Brady!
Tom, that is...
Nice a**...
Quarterback...
Now, the Pats began their season with a loss to Buffalo
Then they shocked the world by winning 14 in a row!
They squashed the Titans and the Colts and now they're on a roll!
New England's gonna slay the Panthers in the Superbowl!
XXXVIII, that is...
2003...
Victory!
How about some singing!
Out of everything I've done in my life, this was probably the most fun... getting to recreate my favorite childhood movie condensed into a 10 minute One Woman Show!
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